Sunday 3 january 2010
7
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/2010
09:50
today at work, my stalker told me that i am going to hell. his exact words were, 'if you die tomorrow, you're going to see the flames.' he was deadly serious. religious fundamentalists creep me
out, but i've learned recently how easy and amusing it can be to taunt them. it's not my goal to seek people out and attempt to make them feel bad about their beliefs, but that seems to be their
goal. how noble. at any rate, i learned that he only has this job because of his equally crazy preacher friend. i'm no stranger to nepotism, so i won't bash it, but it just explains everything. the
last thing we need in this country are religious fanatics infiltrating our schools. god-fearing flag-waving weirdos are jeopardising the fine young minds of this generation, and it must be stopped.
By kymarik
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Saturday 2 january 2010
6
02
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/Jan
/2010
08:49
buckets of rain to end my week off, and that's fine by me. i started some experimental slide photography, which will hopefully produce some good results. i also bought some black and white film for
my manual camera, which made me remember when i was photographing brian a few summers ago at the laundromat. i went through all of my old slides and black and white photos from that summer, and i
wish i had a scanner to show some of them off. i was supposed to be documenting someone or something unfamiliar to me, but i chose brian because i am an antisocial wuss and because it meant that i
got to spend extra time with brian. so, i spent a month taking pictures of him in his 'everyday life' and at his work, a laundromat in chelsea. it was one of the best experiences of my life, and
some of the photos are so hilarious because they're so obviously posed. in half of them, brian looks like he's about to start laughing. sometimes i wish i could be fifteen again just to relive that
summer. and it was so special that i still have a difficult time articulating what it exactly meant to me. i am going to write a novel about it one day though, when i find the words.nostalgia
aside, i regrettably have work tomorrow. this past week, in doing nothing that i hate and everything that i enjoy, i fully realised how much i actually detest my job. last weekend, when brian and i
were painting, i went on an uber-rant about it, which i think made me feel even worse about everything. there's just so much to hate. i know that there are brief moments when i enjoy it- when i get
to take a break and have a good conversation with certain co-workers, or when i get to work with the nerdy kids who remind me of myself at that age - but those moments are so sparse and fleeting
that they don't even come close to compensating for the utter drudgery that is my job. a bit overdramatic, but the thought of having to be there in less than twelve hours is obscene.molee will be
here in seventeen days.these were taken in rockport with my digital camera, not the aforementioned manual camera with the slide film.
By kymarik
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Friday 1 january 2010
5
01
/01
/Jan
/2010
07:40
there seems to be a lot to write. last weekend was incredibly weird. tom was visiting, and i tried my hardest to entertain him, but he was having none of it and seemed angry at me for not wanthing
to marry him, or something. hence, he was a total bitch for an entire day. luckily, i was meeting charline later that day to see peter mulvey, so i had a real excuse to leave him. haven't heard
from him since, and i think that might have been the end of our friendship. the peter mulvey gig was brilliant, apart from the annoying girls standing in front of us. i had a whole rant about them,
but i will save it for another time.i have been enjoying work this week because i got to be mr p's secretary for two days. it just felt nice not to be dealing with obnoxious children for once. we
had some good laughs, singing pink floyd, and discussing the universe. so, i had a few revelations that felt like weird existential experiences, and i wrote things in my journal that i have no
recollection of writing. sort of like listening to pink floyd after a bottle of red wine (or some other drug) and suddenly briefly understanding everything about the world.some of you might
remember my stalker from work. well, he's back. he came into mr p's office and tried talking to me, so i made up a story about how i was moving to norway (which he believed). he begged me, for at
least ten minutes, not to leave, then told me how much he was going to miss me. i told him that i hated america and didn't believe in god, which freaked him out. he yelled at me and told me i was
'lost' and that there was 'something better' waiting for me after i die. it was incredibly unnerving because i really have no tolerance for people who try to 'save' other people. the bad news is
that no matter how disturbed he was by what i was saying, he seemed determined that he was going to change me. so, when i come back to work the week after next, if he tries to talk to me, i'm going
to pretend to be someone else. julie? why do you keep calling me that? my name is kirsten. i'm from norway. the basic goal is to either make him insane or make him think i'm insane. if that doesn't
work, i will have to resort to being an outright total bitch.today was good. i hung out with brian, and we painted a mosaic-type thing for his apartment. we went to a random party that was actually
quite enjoyable. we played on brian's family's new mac, which was amazing, and we took so many hilarious photos of ourselves using the photobooth program. then, we went out with some other old
friends to a bar, but we left after only one drink. still, it was a great night overall.that was more than i wanted to say and less than i wanted to write.
By kymarik
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Thursday 31 december 2009
4
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/Dec
/2009
05:58
last month, i read eight different books (excluding the ones i had to read for uni). i think that is an all-time high, and i am quite proud of myself. the book i enjoyed most was notes from a small
island - everything bill bryson wrote about britain seemed to coincide perfectly with my own emotions. i nearly cried when i read this (explaining his favourite view near his house in yorkshire):it
looked so peaceful and wonderful that i could almost have cried, and yet it was only a tiny part of this small, enchanted island. suddenly, in the space of a moment, i realized what it was that i
loved about britain - which is to say, all of it. every last bit of it, good and bad - old churches, country lanes, people saying "mustn't grumble" and "i'm terribly sorry, but," people apologizing
to me when i conk them with a careless elbow, milk bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in june, seaside piers, ordinance survey maps, tea and crumpets, summer showers and foggy winter evenings -
every bit of it.of course, that passage is an overwhelming generalisation. the rest of the book is not like that, so i don't want anyone to get the impression that bryson has idiotic ideas about
britain. it's easy to feel that way when you know you're leaving, and especially after you leave. every one of my 'last nights' in britain has been emotional and teary-eyed, which is the precise
reason i keep going back there. no other place has ever done that for me.yesterday, i was in the attic and discovered an old manual camera. you know, the kind that you have to focus yourself. i
brought it to a camera shop, and the man there gave me an enthusiastic hour-long lesson on how to use the thing (which was actually enjoyable and helpful). so, i bought a roll of slide film, which
will hopefully produce some good photographs. i wish i still had brian for a subject. also in the attic, i found my photo album from high school, and, to be completely superficial, i cannot believe
the ugly clothes i used to wear. it's shocking. i also look crazy in every photograph. i will try to scan some of them soon.i bought a scandinavia travel guide last week, and i spent most of the
week planning my dream holiday to scandinavia. i'm odd like that. the journey consists of plate tectonics in iceland, norwegian fjords, and dala horses. and elsinore (in denmark) to see the castle
from hamlet. if i had the time or money, i would also go to estonia, finland, and st petersburg. this is all fantasy, mind you, but it would be the best holiday ever, and i'm hoping for at least
one part of it this summer.
By kymarik
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Wednesday 30 december 2009
3
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/Dec
/2009
04:50
when i turned fourteen, i used all of my birthday money to buy a pair of binoculars. i'm still strange. today, i had to help a 'learning disabled' kid take the mcas exam. i was his scribe. i wanted
so badly to help him write a good essay, but my job was just to write whatever he dictated to me, and his response did not answer the question at all! also, when he dictated 'big' words, i had to
ask him to spell them (since spelling counts toward your final mark), and he was dyslexic! it was so sad. later in the day, i had to monitor the other students who were taking the exam, answering
questions and checking for cheating. one boy asked me for help and this happened:me: what's up?boy: how do you spell 'wasn't'?me: i'm not allowed to tell you how to spell anything (in my mind, i
was wondering how a 16-year-old wouldn't know how to spell this). why don't you try sounding it out?boy: i can't spell it! how can i sound it out?me: well, think of what sound it starts with, then
go from there.boy: w....me: ok, what comes next?boy: ummmm, u???i thought he was doing some serious piss-taking at this point, but he seemed genuinely upset. my job is so depressing.as a side note,
i am watching anderson cooper 360 on cnn and just realised that his commercial outro song is 'jenny was a friend of mine' by the killers. that's just weird.
By kymarik
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